Monday, 15 November 2010

Je ne comprends pas...

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Hi everyone

I miss writing, I miss blogging. I've been working on my dissertation and writing simply became a chore and I just needed a break. I'm still kind of on a semi-break but I hope I am gradually coming out of my comatose state because I have really missed it. I was talking to a friend at the weekend and he gave a description of me that made me laugh. Its funny how people can see strength where we only see weakness and imperfection.

A week ago, a friend shared about how her friend had passed away in childbirth. She asked a question 'Does God not answer prayers?' Hmm, it was an honest question and it got me thinking about so many other questions I had that I like to gloss over with my 'religious varnish', there is a way that I think that to ask a question is to doubt....that to say "Je ne comprends pas....I do not understand" means I am one of little faith.

I do not understand why we prayed and she died. I do not understand why Elisha died of an illness and yet his bones raised a dead man. I do not understand the ways of God. I do not understand what part I play in the scheme of things, I always see my life as a piece of a big puzzle where only God sees the big picture. I don't think I need to understand, just trust. Sometimes my faith is so weak, I wish I was perfect but I am not. I wish I always had answers but I don't.

One thing I have learnt in the past few months...God doesn't give up on us, usually we give up on Him. My prayer is that even when I do not understand...I reach out my hand to Him even in the dark and cry..'Lord help me.' I just needed to write that today, seems so random. Oh well! Have a blessed day people.

5 comments:

Blessing said...

I was feeling the same way earlier today...like the bible says his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts...he indeed knows the big picture, we just have to surrender all and trust him...the thing is, it's not easy @ times

Myne Whitman said...

Blessing just picked the words from me. Hmmm...we just need to continue trusting in Him.

Zoe Believer said...

@Blessing: True it isn't easy. I guess that's what trust is about. Thanks for your comment dear.

@Myne Whitman: Amen. How are you doing?

Tisha said...

Hi
Missed you

He's always there
and He always knows best
Stay secure in His love.

Kafo said...

i'm beginning to realize that most of my frustration comes from not comprehending what is going on
so i'm learning to stop trying to understand it all and just take it day by day

stay beautiful and blessed