Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Taking it one day at a time

Hello people

I am at my desk, just got into work but could not resist the urge to just jot down a few sentences. The title of the blog today just kind of sums up how i am feeling these days in regards to dealing with Alan's death. Some days are better than others but i am taking it one day at a time. I feel sad, weak, tired and discouraged but i choose to encourage myself with the Word of God. I think in dealing with life's situations most of us have been taught that we should 'speak the word', pray, praise, worship e.t.c which i also believe that we should do but i also think that we should start with admitting where we are. We should be free to admit that we are sad, hurt, discouraged e.t.c with what it seems life has handed to us, when we can admit that we are sick then we can go on further and get our healing.
I believe God gave us emotions, not for us to be ruled by but for us to use. I am tired of acting, Christianity is not about religion, 10 commandments, do's and donts... it is about a relationship with a living being who lives on the inside of me and knows everything about me and strong relationships must be REAL..
Anyway, i've gotta get back to work now but i just want to encourage anyone out there to SMILE, no matter how the day is going, no matter what problems are out there, remember He has promised never to leave nor forsake you. Even when you do not hear His voice, be comforted in knowing that the Lord is there with you because there is no place on earth that you could possibly hide from Him.

Thursday, 25 January 2007

Coping with grief

I don't know if to write this as a journal entry or as a letter but today writing as if it is a journal will help me better. Last week, someone really important to me died. Death is so final, no more hellos or goodbyes, no happy birthdays or valentines just DEATH.
This is a really difficult time in my life because this person has been a very big influence on me, on my life escpecially my career and since this is the first time someone really dear to me has died i am trying to learn how to cope with grief. The day that i heard that he was in a coma, i cried because although i knew he was ill i never thought that he could actually die and the day that i heard that he was dead i cried a bit more.
Although i haven't cried for a few days, sometimes i wish that i would because maybe that will help this ache in my heart to go away. I feel devastated and a big sense of loss, i also feel like the reality has not hit me yet.
Writing this is difficult, i am trying to make sense of all the emotions but i am not sure that what i am writing is making any sense but in a way maybe the more that i write, the more that i can sort out how and what i feel and make sense of it all.
In a way, i think i was angry with God as well (please all the righteous, don't stone me i am just being real) because i felt that God knows that I need this person escpecially at this period in my life but i have left that stage and have come to a place where i am saying "Lord, i don't know why this is happening but in this confusion and chaos, i choose to trust you cos i know you have a plan and a purpose. My eyes are limited to space and time but yours are not. You created me and all that your word has said concerning me is true so i choose to TRUST you. Thank you for loving me even when i am not loving you back".
I think i know how to do the links thing now. The blogs i recommend are
1. Diamond Hawk
2. Daddy's Girl
3. Adaure's blog
I know that you will like them cos they are all unique in an interesting way. Anyway remain blessed and have a great time.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007


This is the first time i am blogging, honestly the whole thing is a new world to me. Therefore, please ignore any mistakes and i know it aint hip but it is just something that i want to pick up and see if it can help me with some stuff in my life.
So although i am saying hello, i am sure very few people will know about this blog, i am going to make it kinda like an on-line diary/journal of my view on stuff and dealing with this interesting thing called LIFE. I have read quite a few blogs and am already hooked on about 3 which i will try and create links to (when I know how!). Anyway this is it for now, but if u read this and have any advice it will be most welcome. Thanks a lot.