Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 July 2009

GOD...

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has been teaching me to love. It is beautiful, it is painful, it should come with a warning that says "attempt at your own risk" but we were created to love. To love Him, to love ourselves and to love others, if I may say in that order. We cannot truly love Him and hate ourselves for we were born of Him, we cannot truly love Him and hate others either. To love is to give up of yourself, it requires depth and maturity, no more "Why me" but "Why not me", sometimes you say yes when you would rather say no and you say no when everything on the inside is screaming yes. Sometimes love requires you to walk away from something or someone that seems so good but you know is not the best.

Love is a feeling and a doing both at the same time but it's hard to go on when the feeling is not there but the truth is when we accept it God gives us the grace and ability to do ALL that He has asked us to do, there is a love that is natural but we do not require praise for this, when we begin to love supernaturally, hmm! I need to love Him, me and you. Who do you need to love today? Is it your mum or your dad, hubby, wifey, daughter/son. So many times, my love is performance oriented, only given to show appreciation, God is teaching me to show love both when it is deserved and when it is undeserved. Possible, yes, easy...no, not by a long mile.

God's love is so pure, I don't know if I'll ever get that far this side of eternity but I'm determined to get as close to it as possible. I had a funny experience on the train a few weeks ago and I just thought about what would happen if it were to blow up and I died (what a thought I know) but my first thought was why, why, why didn't i let my sisters know that i love and appreciate them. Isn't it funny how we behave because we always feel we have time. My dear sisters, I love and appreciate you.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I thought I was going to write a farewell post! Lol! It is well.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Psalm 46

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This morning when I woke up, I felt led to read Psalm 46. I have been blessed by it and hope to thoughtfully meditate on it all through the day. I pray it will bless you as well

1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day
.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Psalm 46 (NIV) Capitals and italics mine.

Father today I thank you for pressure, I thank you for deadlines and submission dates. I thank you because they all work to reveal the strength that you have given me. I thank you because they help me to realise that it's never been about me but about you working through me. I thank you because it teaches me to be still and know that you are God. Be exalted through me O lord in Jesus name.

Trials don't come to kill, they come to reveal...

Monday, 17 November 2008

Untitled

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Trying to laugh
but I can't laugh
Trying to cry
but the tears aren't coming
Trying to tell you how I feel
but I can't speak
Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel
but I can't see
Trying to make sense of it all
but it just isn't coming together
Trying to reach for you
but I can't find you
Trying alternatives
but nothing compares
So
I'm not laughing or crying
I'm not speaking or seeing
I'm not looking or compromising
I'm knowing
Knowing my God
Knowing His promises
Knowing His way
Knowing His will
Knowing He lives in me
Knowing He makes all things beautiful in His time
Knowing He loves me
Knowing....
I'm no longer trying, I'm KNOWING
For I must know to BELIEVE

Monday, 10 November 2008

Love is...(Part II)

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Love is hard work. Sometimes we make the assumption that because we love people, all that it takes to keep our relationships (I use this term loosely)will come to us naturally. That has not been my experience.It is against the nature of the natural man to put the needs of another person over yours.

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs 1st Corinthians 13

Erm, although this bit of my Bible is highlighted, I know I've not really been living it out because I don't know about you but I find it hard especially the not easily angered part and not keeping a record of wrongs! I've come to realise that love is more than something I feel, it's something I do. Like they say, love is a verb!

Love may involve time in the gym staying in shape, it may mean forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply, it may mean learning how to cook a specific meal in a specific way (this applies to both boys and girls!!), it may mean patiently waiting while she decides whether gold or silver accessories are more appropriate. It may mean learning how to put the toilet seat down (or back up?). It may involve retraining your hands to squeeze the toothpaste from the end of the tube or realising that it doesn't really matter!

Love sometimes means letting go of my pride and admitting I don't have it all together and seeking counsel. Love involves commitment, digging my heels in and saying though there might be some better people out there, I believe you are the best for me. The grass may seem greener on the other side but it's because the people on the other side of the fence put in the work to sow, water, fertilise and weed the lawn and I'm willing to do what it takes to make this green as well. A beautiful garden does not happen by accident, it takes a lot of hard work, determination, consistency and maturity.

Especially maturity..when i was a child, i TALKED like a child, i THOUGHT like a child, i REASONED like a child. When I became a MAN (or WOMAN), I put my childish ways behind me (1st Corinthians 13:11 NIV. Love is hard work but God gives us the grace. The fruit of the Spirit is love (Galatians 5:22) and God will teach us what we need to do but more especially who we need to be.

This post just seems to be here, there and everywhere but I am trusting God for restoration in the area of relationships, whether between husband and wife, mother and daughter, fathers and son. Let there be love shared amongst us, it may be hard but there is no life without love!

Remain blessed. 2008 continues to remain our year of UNCOMMON TESTIMONIES.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Aha

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When a cheap plastic pen from WHSmith (sorry!) stops working, you throw it in the bin. When your £21,000 Freelander 2, stops working, you just don't take it to any 'ole mechanic. You take it to an expert. Why? Because of it's worth to you, because of how much it cost you, because of the sacrifices that you made to get it, because of how wonderful you feel when you're cruising about town in it.

Sometimes, people hurt us, take us for granted, make us so angry but we need to determine what the relationship is worth to us, a 10p pencil or a £21,000 SUV? So when there are problems, know what to do, whether to ditch or to take to an expert. For the ones that require an expert, may I recommend my ultimate Fixer to you. His name is Jesus Christ.

He can
..wipe every tear
..put a balm over every wound
..make you smile again
..comfort you
..hold you for as long as you need to be held

Most importantly, He can turn around any situation as long as you are willing to act on His advice and like any professional, He sticks to the guidelines in the manufacturer's manual..the Word of God!

Selah! (Think about it)

When I saw the picture of the car, I just had to include it. WOW!

Sunday, 18 May 2008

This God!

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This our God we serve, honestly He is truly interested and involved in the affairs of men. I was just watching Gladiators on Sky (yes o, I'm a big Gladiators fan..i think the new one on Sky is fab!!!)Anyways, one of the male contenders caught my interest (not in the way you may be thinking!!). My first impression was that he had a rather small frame and then when he spoke, the first thing he said was that he was a Christian, he believed in God and that although he looked like David, God enabled David slay Goliath! I was impressed about how he was so vocal about his faith.
Well the games started but the gladiators are HUGE; Tornado, Destroyer, Oblivion aah even me I really felt for the guy because the other contender was more evenly matched physically speaking to the gladiators. As I expected, when it got to the eliminator there was a whopping 11 seconds between them.

When he was asked what he thought about his chances, he said that God's will would be done. Can I confess?? I laughed, the way I imagine Sarah must have laughed when the angels said.."by this time next year, you will have a child". My sister looked at me and said "You never know". I was like, this guy has lost. Not only is he smaller, the larger guy has a time advantage on him. So the race started and as I predicted, the big guy was seriously in the lead but like from nowhere, the small guy kept reducing the gap until they were neck and neck. Suddenly 'Goliath' fell and my guy got into the lead. At the last obstacle, he didn't have any strength to go on and for a minute it seemed like 'Goliath' would win but as if from nowhere, 'David' got the strength to get to the top and my mouth was agape for a few minutes. My sister just looked at me and said, "I told you so". Even the host on the show commented that it must have been God's will that he won.

As we go into a new week, sometimes it may feel like the odds are stacked against us, we are like David and our challenges seem to be like Goliath but we need to remember that we serve a God who is bigger than any situation that we may face. He is a God who can use 4 lepers to defeat a mighty army, 300 men with lamps and trumpets to defeat an army. He does not look at our physical sizes, he looks at the size of our faith. So, go with God. When all your strength is gone, lean on Him. He makes impossibilities possible.

Have an absolutely wonderful week and remember that 2008 continues to remain our year of UNCOMMON testimonies. It is well.

Remain blessed and highly favoured.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

100 posts later....

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Ok, I'm kinda back. I feel like I've lived my whole life in the past month. Anyway, I will soon be back by the grace of God.

So we're celebrating 100 posts, I read this blog and I wonder who's writing. I know it isn't me so I just thank God for His mercy. I read this blog and examine my life, remembering that James says that teachers have a stricter judgement(!!) and praying that I'm living or at least trying to live according to His word. I read this blog and imagine...imagine my life BB (aka Before Blogging). I read this blog and am grateful, for the comments, for the friendships, for the discovery of some things on the inside I had never realised were there.

Most of all, I read this blog and am thankful that I serve a God who speaks to me in a language that I understand, who's patient enough to break things down and understanding enough to hear me even when I myself don't understand what I'm saying.

Life is a journey, enjoy it, ENJOY IT, TODAY. Don't wait for certain landmarks to be completed or achieved. Celebrate today, even if all u can celebrate is that you opened your eyes this morning. My prayer is that the Lord will always give you cause to REJOICE in Jesus name.

Remain blessed and highly favoured. 2008 continues to remain our year of UNCOMMON TESTIMONIES.

Thursday, 17 May 2007

Why?

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Warning! Very silly questions shall follow. I know the answers but still feel the need to ask the questions. This is a true indication of my frame of mind now. I think my brain needs to reboot!

Why is it that when I ask the Lord for patience, He sends annoying people my way?
Why is being a daddy's girl a good thing but being a mama's boy isn't? (DG, no pun intended!)
Why has Melinda Doolittle been voted off American Idol?
Why is statistics so confusing to me and why must there be a null hypothesis?
Why is my bed so narrow that I cannot even give the excuse of waking up on the wrong side...cos there's only one side?
Why do the healthy things seem unappealing to my appetite but the danger foods taste so great..ha ha Haagen Das?
Why am I writing on this blog when there are so many other things to do?
Why do I run after people who push me away and why do I push away those that run after me?

Hope I'm not losing it..maybe i should call it a day, some scripts to mark and a sunday school lesson to prepare for. Help me Lord Jesus.

Remain blessed

Me

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Update!

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Oh oh...

My blog is suffering from serious neglect. I made a decision last week to stay off blogville for 7 days. Not because blogging is bad or anything like that but I just wanted to find out if I owned the blog or the blog owned me. I was surprised by how difficult it was at first. I'm not sure if it was because I had made a mental decision about it or just that reading other people's blogs had become such an essential part of my day. I'm pleased to say I passed the test..I didn't even cheat once although I must confess it was a really busy week as well!

It's been really busy at work but I'm looking forward to the last week of May where hopefully I can take a break and not come into the lab for a whole 5 days..hallelujah! So what's been happening?

On a personal note, I'm happy to see small changes in the way I think and behave as I move towards my total transformation.

Spiritually, I feel like I am closer to God now than ever before and it can only get better. I'm learning to trust that He does actually know what is best for me and that it doesn't matter that things are not moving according to my agenda..I am willing to wait until my change comes because His wisdom shall be my guidance.

Physically, I'm trying to push myself a bit more in the gym though I haven't been going as regularly as I should but something is better than nothing. And someone is volunteering to help me take up running..(The Lord is my strength!)

Relationally, I find myself going into my loner zone again, closing up, not allowing people in, unable to share. I have tried to shake it off..maybe it's a season of being alone with God but in this area I really need His help because it's not somewhere I am really strong. I find myself unable (or unwilling?) to have really strong ties with people. This could develop into a post of its own so I better stop here.

Ahh soccer, go ManU winning the Premiership and hopefully the F.A cup at Wembley on Saturday. Hip, hip hurrah. Very disappointing loss to AC Milan in the UEFA cup but I'll like to say that we didn't want the other teams to be too jealous so we gave that up for Liverpool (Ha, ha!)

Anyways, too much work to do and too little time to do it. It is well with you and no matter the obstacle, you and God are already a majority as there are no impossibilities with Him.

Remain blessed and highly favoured.

Me

Saturday, 24 March 2007

I love you

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I was going through an old journal and found this poem I read in a book and found so beautiful that I decided to write down in my journal on the 30th of December 2000 ( I can't believe it, over 6 years ago!!). Reading my journal brings back so many memories..but FOCUS!!! Yeah, back to what I was saying. I thought I should share the poem with everyone.

I LOVE YOU

I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself
But for what
You are making me

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no on else had looked
Quite far enough to find

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple
Out of the works
Of my everyday
Not a reproach
But a song
I love you

Author unknown.

What do you think about it? I think the beauty of love, that we receive from God and the people He has placed in our lives is that they love us not only for our strengths BUT IN SPITE OF our weaknesses.

Have a blessed weekend.

Me.

Thursday, 8 March 2007

reasons to smile today

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Hiya

I forgot to remind y'all to smile today... i decided to write down the reasons i am smiling

1. All you Londoners...no excuse not to smile...that was really great weather we had this morning and afternoon..the sun was shining (Halleluyah!!!)
2. Manchester United defeated Lille yesterday to remain in the Champions League competition and we remain top of the Premiership (Go Red Devils)
3. I gave my presentation on Monte Carlo simulations today and even though to the poor dears I may have well been speaking in Igbo, at least that is over and done with!
4. I received the results for some gene sequencing in an experiment I did 2 weeks ago and they were GREAT, i'm sorry i hope i don't go over the top with all this but this is the 2nd time i had to do this experiment so i am really, really happy. My supervisor was so impressed, she keeps telling everyone about it. At least i can identify my bacteria now (what I am actually supposed to be doing instead of blogging!!)

What is making you smile now or what made you smile in the last 24 hours? Remember it and smile again!!!

Remain blessed

Me

Tuesday, 27 February 2007

...CONCENTRATE!!!

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Hello people
It's just one of those days. I just can't seem to concentrate on much today which is interesting since i have so much to do right now. Actually, i am trying to create a presentation on Monte carlo simulations (what i was actually supposed to do at the weekend... please don't ask). Anyways, physically i am here but my brain has just gone on vacation. Statistics has never really been something that i love but i think as i write this i find myself coming into 'my zone of creativity' so I am going to give it another shot.
Tough times never last but tough people do. Have a great day, i will resume blogging later.

Me