Friendship

Have you noticed
that we are growing further apart
we used to be able to talk
about everything
about nothing
but now our conversations have become
stilted, almost rehearsed

I used to think we would be best mates forever
our connection seemed to be just too strong
but somewhere on this journey it seems
you or maybe me
headed off in a different direction
whilst the other never noticed
till now

we can never be enemies
i love you too much for that
but we are no longer in the same place
and i'm not just talking geography
i think this relationship is in a different season
i can't say goodbye
but God bless
i'll pray for you and remember you
for bringing out some of the best stuff in me

Hugs and kisses

Me

60 questions?

Yay, aint I brilliant. I can actually answer 60 questions about myself. I'm on holiday so I guess I've got the time! Here goes...

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00 am (I'm not going to work..double hurrah!)
2. Diamonds or pearls? 'Diamonds are forever'.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The last King of Scotland (uhum, it's been a while!)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Without a doubt, 24 i wish I could put it in neon lights!
5. What did you have for breakfast? Smoothie
6. What is your middle name? First name was too long to leave any space on the birth certificate!
7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal? Chinese but my fav meal is 'bangers' n chips with mashed peas! I'm so common
8. What foods do you dislike? Stuff with cheese in it
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Wedges
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Greatest hits-Twila Paris
11. What kind of car do you drive? LGB a.k.a Legediz Benz. No alloy wheels but very reliable.
12.Favorite sandwich? Tuna and sweetcorn
13. What characteristics do you despise? Lying
14. Favorite item of clothing? Jeans
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? The Bahamas
16. What color is your bathroom? Green, not my fav but it's ok
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Dunno
18. Where would you want to retire? maybe.. The Bahamas
19. Favorite time of day? Depends on the day but usually bedtime!
20. Where were you born? Eko
21. Favorite sport(s) to watch? Football
22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? Dunno, not sending it to anyone!
23. Person you expect to respond first? Same as above
24. What laundry scent do you use? Lenor
25. Coke or Pepsi? Neither, fanta please
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Morning, something about the dark interrupts my 'grey' cells
27. What size shoe do you wear? European 41 (well at least they are happy feet!)
28. Do you have pets? No
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Later
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A medical doctor
31. Favorite Candy Bar? If it's candy as in chocolate it's gotta be Toblerone
32. What is your best childhood memory? Travelling with family
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Personal assistant, Checkout staff, Call centre operator, teacher
34. What color/type underwear are you? Boys shorts
35.Nicknames: maranthus (named after a weed! no comments)
36. Piercings ? Just me ears, one on each but thinking of getting them partners
37. Eye color? Brown
38. Ever been to Africa? Oh yes!
39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? I don't even know what this means so I guess NO
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes, it makes me cry sometimes when I think about how much He loves me
41. Been in a car accident? No, thank God
42. Croutons or bacon bits? Neither
43.Favorite day of the week? Wednesday, i feel like it's almost over
44. Favorite restaurant? None, really don't eat out much
45. Favorite flower? Carnations
46. Favorite ice cream? I'm a plain Jane so vanilla
47. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King, it's been ages
48. What color is your bedroom carpet? Brown
49. How many times did you fail your driver's test? You really want to know?
50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? My boss
51. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? Believer is spending wisely these days so no thanks to maxing the credit card BUT in my imagination it would be somewhere, anywhere that sold Manolos'
52. What do you do most often when you are bored? Imagine I am someplace else
53. Bedtime? Very variable
54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? One friend in particular
55. Last person you went to dinner with? A really good friend
56. What are you listening to right now? Micah Stampley-A Fresh wind
57. What is your favorite color? Brown
58. Lake, Ocean or river? Lake, symbolic to me of peace and serenity
59. How many tattoos do you have? 0
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I think the chicken, and humanity especially people of black origin have been grateful ever since

Whew, I thought it wasn't going to end. Have a really lovely day despite what the weather may be in your part of the world. Carry your own weather with you!

remain blessed and highly favoured

me

The place of total surrender

Surrender (v): To give up a right or possession. To yield, to relinquish, to let go, to forsake and forgo, to renounce. (Pocket Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus)

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

(' I surrender all' Judson W. VanDeVenter, 1896)

Warning: Might be really long!! Just needed to document a lot of things that have been going through my mind.

So there I was at the beginning of the weekend 'bemoaning' my still single status! It's almost hilarious now looking back but I'm amazed at the power of focus, when you focus on something long enough it's powerful enough to change your mood so I learnt how important it is to focus on the right things. Anyways, back to the story, I must confess I began to feel a bit sad but then I remembered the words of my last post to REJOICE! but I didn't want to rejoice, I wanted to be sad, I wanted some comfort ice cream, I wanted to sit in front of the TV (I'm sure you get the picture!)

It's wonderful loving and being in love with someone who can never let you go, irrespective of how silly you may act sometimes. I know God well enough now to know that when I start my Why me? diatribe, He leaves me for a while to act up until I realise that I cannot function without Him. I always find myself running back into His arms because that is the only place where I find total peace and satisfaction. I'm happy to say that as I grow more in my relationship with Him the time it takes me to fall into His embrace is considerably shorter. I'm not sure I could spend an hour without at least saying something to Him. I think there's just something about being in love with someone so much that you just have to be in touch and communicate.

One of the reasons I love God is because He knows how I feel. The Bible says that "...He is touched by the feelings of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15). Like the good Shepard that He is, he always leads me to where I can find solace. It seemed that every sermon, every song, even the Nigerian movie (a really good one called 'Through the fire') I watched had a message for me about holding onto God and being led by Him reassuring me of His Presence and His Power.

I was kinda like 'OK, OK i get it'. I know waiting on the Lord is what i must do but He had a deeper message for me. I picked up a book to read. It's aptly titled.."If men are like buses, how do I catch one". I was intrigued by the title but the content kept me captivated. It's not a book on how to 'get' a man (cos I'm not really sure one is supposed to 'get' a man!) but a book about spiritual development for the single person. However, I digress. She was talking about getting to a place in God when all you can say is 'Yes, Lord' I am totally surrendered to your will.

My first reaction was 'Yes sister, I am in that place' (uhum!) but she then posed a question that God asked her.."What about if my will for you is to get married at the age of 40...or maybe never?" Please note, although I am using marriage as an example cos that was what started the whole thing in the first place, it applies to different areas of our lives as God was showing me.

My first thought was that well God instituted marriage so it must be His will, we all be married or have children e.t.c but then as I thought deeper I remembered that most importantly, He is a God of purpose and does all things according to His plan for us. I felt like the Holy Spirit was taking a lamp and shining it into the inner recesses of my heart and exposing some things I never really realised were there. I think that my belief was as long as I obeyed God, was faithful to Him..a sort of 'service with a smile' attitude, God would give me what I desired. In itself, it's not a wrong theology because God grants those who delight in Him the desires of their heart (Psalm 37:4). I sense that God is calling me to a higher place in Him. Asking for more, for all, my 5 year plan, my 10 year plan, my goals and my dreams to replace them with His all, His plan for me, His purpose for me. I can't preach to anyone about this I can only say my story because God reaches out for us in unique ways and speaks to us in the language we understand the most.
I just lay on my bed and cried, not because I may never get married; to be married or not was never really the issue. The issue for me now was that I had arrived at a place in my relationship with God where more was required but was I willing to pay the price? I had to say 'Yes' because God has an excellent track record with me. He may sometimes lead me the LONG way but He has never led me the WRONG way. So, I truly surrender, yield, relinquish and let go of my desires, plans, finances and career and hand it over to Him. My prayer is that He will use me as He will.

God spoke to me there as I lay on my bed. Some things I may share as the days go by but I know that I have entered into a new place in my relationship with Him. I know it won't be easy cos my will is really strong and like someone said the problem with us being living sacrifices is that we can stand up from the altar!

I am reminded of people who went all the way with God for example,

Paul walked away from fame and a respectable position to be imprisoned and beheaded.
Hosea had to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him and father other men's children.
Jesus had to die on the cross.
Hebrews 11 is full of other people who had to count the cost when they chose to carry the cross and follow Him.

The picture that brought it home for me was Abraham with the son of promise he had waited for, for such a long time, taking him up the Mount of Moriah to lay him on the altar. I'm sure it was difficult cos I know it's not easy for me but I'm laying my Isaacs down and seeking to do His will because I know He has greater things in store for me.

Really, really long but I'm not sure I could have said it in less words.

Remain blessed. I'm praying for you it shall be well.

Me

Make we jolly!

Hiya all!

I'm sorry if you were expecting a post in pidgin..that I am incapable of doing! Anyways my sister has been driving me crazy with this song 'Make we jolly'. It seems most of the Nollywood actors and actresses want to add another stream to their income and have decided to go into music. I've heard some horrendous sounds presented as music but no names shall be mentioned.

The post's title is a song by Patience Ozokwor a.k.a. Mama G (G for general) or old school. I love her as an actress, she does play her parts really well. As for the song, well I have no comments about the vocals or the video but it is quite funny.

The essence of the song is just as the title suggests, that we should be jolly. Life is too short to be spent brooding and depressed. This morning during my power hour (a.k.a quiet time) I just got this word in my spirit..REJOICE! Yes, everything might not be going the way it should but rejoice anyway. I just began to break out in songs of praise and worship to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

I see too many of us allow issues to weigh us down so much until it begins to seep away our joy. We then wonder why there seems to be no way out..remember the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10) and when there is no joy, our strength becomes small and it looks like the mountains cannot be overcome.

I just went to Philipians because I remembered from Sunday school that my uncle Paul penned an epistle sometimes called the Book of joy. I encourage you to read it whenever you feel 'down in the dumps'.

Paul encourages us to rejoice in the Lord always (Philipians 4:4). Our rejoicing is not in ourselves or our abilities but in the ONE who is faithful concerning the promises that He has made to us. The One who has promised never to leave or forsake us, the One whom when we pray to, we are assured that He not only hears but is able to answer. We are also to rejoice always which means not just on Sundays, or when we get paid, or when Mr or Miss Right comes along, or when we land the dream job. We must rejoice when the bills are due, in sickness, in times of confusion and betrayal. When you don't know what to do..REJOICE!

I've heard it said countless times that joy and happiness are different. Happiness is dependent on circumstances whilst joy is independent of it. It's not easy o, i am not suggesting it is but start somewhere. If no song comes to your spirit, put one in your CD player or scan through your Ipod. Call someone who can encourage and pray with you.

When we rejoice in spite of our circumstances, we show God that we have faith that what we are going through is temporary and therefore SUBJECT TO CHANGE. We also tell the devil..u berra don't mess with me because I am appointed for breakthrough.

Remember that although Paul was encouraging us to rejoice in this book, he was writing from a prison cell. Joy is one of the fruits of the spirit (Gal 5:22) so if your tank is low..the Holy Spirit is more than able and willing to give you a 'top-up'.

I'm excited because I sense a season of great breakthroughs. When the storm is over, we will be able to see clearly but whilst still in it we must rejoice and trust. It is well.

So make we jolly!

Remain blessed

Me

Thou art my help.

Psalm 127:1 (NKJV) Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

Psalm 121:1-2 (NKJV) I will lift up my eyes to the hills; from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

This morning I woke up with a song that I haven't heard in ages. I don't know the title but it goes thus..

My help is in the name of the Lord
My help is in the name of the Lord
For the Lord my God is mighty
My help is in the name of the Lord

I consider Psalm 127:1 to be one of the foundational scriptures of my life. It reminds me that the Almighty is the one who is charge of my life. I may try to do things my own way but all I am doing is labouring and in vain.

Lately, I've been stressing about so many thing..the why's, the how's, the when's, the what if's but I can hear the Lord telling me to relax and take it easy. He created me and all He needs from me is to love Him and to trust Him. He is my help because I know that He is the only one who can see me through the situations and circumstances that life brings my way. No man, woman, government or institution can take His place.

I am walking in the peace of God because I am tired of 'labouring'. I'm just telling every situation that "My help is in the name of the Lord" and I'm looking up to JESUS instead of looking at the circumstances around me. Remember Peter began to sink when he started to look around instead of looking up.

Are you facing big challenges, deadlines, seeming delays in some areas of your life? I just want to encourage you to call upon the name of the Lord. It is powerful and able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you may be able to think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Remember Sarah, it seemed to late for her but God brought her laughter in the fullness of time.
Remember Moses, he showed us that God has a secret path in the sea
Remember Joshua, those walls seemed to be insurmountable but they had to fall flat before the Lord of Hosts.
Remember Jehoshaphat, praise and worship were his weapons to defeat mighty, well trained armies.
Remember Elisha's servant, when his eyes were 'opened' he realised that those that that were for Him were more than those that were against him.

Miracles are not only for those in the bible, i believe that we are to experience them every day. The Bible says that these things were written for our examples. It is surely well. Be encouraged in the Lord and the power of His might. This week, walk in victory because the Lord is your help and He can do the impossible, only believe.

You are blessed and highly favoured.

Me

Why?

Warning! Very silly questions shall follow. I know the answers but still feel the need to ask the questions. This is a true indication of my frame of mind now. I think my brain needs to reboot!

Why is it that when I ask the Lord for patience, He sends annoying people my way?
Why is being a daddy's girl a good thing but being a mama's boy isn't? (DG, no pun intended!)
Why has Melinda Doolittle been voted off American Idol?
Why is statistics so confusing to me and why must there be a null hypothesis?
Why is my bed so narrow that I cannot even give the excuse of waking up on the wrong side...cos there's only one side?
Why do the healthy things seem unappealing to my appetite but the danger foods taste so great..ha ha Haagen Das?
Why am I writing on this blog when there are so many other things to do?
Why do I run after people who push me away and why do I push away those that run after me?

Hope I'm not losing it..maybe i should call it a day, some scripts to mark and a sunday school lesson to prepare for. Help me Lord Jesus.

Remain blessed

Me

Update!

Oh oh...

My blog is suffering from serious neglect. I made a decision last week to stay off blogville for 7 days. Not because blogging is bad or anything like that but I just wanted to find out if I owned the blog or the blog owned me. I was surprised by how difficult it was at first. I'm not sure if it was because I had made a mental decision about it or just that reading other people's blogs had become such an essential part of my day. I'm pleased to say I passed the test..I didn't even cheat once although I must confess it was a really busy week as well!

It's been really busy at work but I'm looking forward to the last week of May where hopefully I can take a break and not come into the lab for a whole 5 days..hallelujah! So what's been happening?

On a personal note, I'm happy to see small changes in the way I think and behave as I move towards my total transformation.

Spiritually, I feel like I am closer to God now than ever before and it can only get better. I'm learning to trust that He does actually know what is best for me and that it doesn't matter that things are not moving according to my agenda..I am willing to wait until my change comes because His wisdom shall be my guidance.

Physically, I'm trying to push myself a bit more in the gym though I haven't been going as regularly as I should but something is better than nothing. And someone is volunteering to help me take up running..(The Lord is my strength!)

Relationally, I find myself going into my loner zone again, closing up, not allowing people in, unable to share. I have tried to shake it off..maybe it's a season of being alone with God but in this area I really need His help because it's not somewhere I am really strong. I find myself unable (or unwilling?) to have really strong ties with people. This could develop into a post of its own so I better stop here.

Ahh soccer, go ManU winning the Premiership and hopefully the F.A cup at Wembley on Saturday. Hip, hip hurrah. Very disappointing loss to AC Milan in the UEFA cup but I'll like to say that we didn't want the other teams to be too jealous so we gave that up for Liverpool (Ha, ha!)

Anyways, too much work to do and too little time to do it. It is well with you and no matter the obstacle, you and God are already a majority as there are no impossibilities with Him.

Remain blessed and highly favoured.

Me

Life:A-Z, E is for Exercise

1st Timothy 4:8 (NIV) For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life that is to come

So, some time last year I had a 'revelation' that the extra weight I was carrying was not just going to disappear on it's own. Changing my eating habits wasn't going to be enough..I had to sweat it out. So I took up walking, jogging and going to the gym. I haven't reached my ideal weight but anytime I go to the gym, I give myself a pat on the back because I know I'm closing in on the distance between where I am and where I need to be.

I encourage everyone reading this, no matter what your weight is to include some form of exercise into your life because it is quite important. If, like me you want to lose weight but it's something you've shelved for later, I suggest you take it off from the shelf, dust it and make a DECISION to start today. For some encouragement, read London Buki's and Mrs somebody's blog. You can do it! I'll also blog about my progress to encourage you and to keep me accountable.

I was pondering on the verse above..physically, i know the profit my body has made due to the exercise I have been doing but the Word says that this is little compared to the profit that I make through godliness. What is godliness? To me, it is becoming God-like, living how God would want me to live, exhibiting attributes of His character like love, holiness and purity.

I also realised that there are some similarities between bodily exercise and godliness which I now see as a form of 'spiritual exercise'. Firstly, living a godly life is not easy. I remember the first day I jogged last year..thought I was going to faint! Living a godly life, especially in the days we are in now 'where men have preferred darkness to light' requires more than willpower and discipline but the grace of God cos only He can give us the strength to walk on the narrow way.

Also, like having a jogging/exercise buddy helps me remain motivated, having close people to whom I can be accountable and who encourage and counsel me when I want to give in to popular culture instead of God's way has helped me greatly on my journey. Disclaimer: Please, please, please, allow the Lord to guide you in choosing those to whom you reveal intimate secrets of your life. I'm still praying and believing God to send the right people my way.

Finally, both types of exercise have their reward. Now, I can jog longer, lift heavier and stretch wider, spiritually I am walking in new levels in my relationship with the Lord because as I seek to be like Him, He reveals more of Himself to me accompanied by His favour and blessing because 'He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him'.

There are also long term benefits. I look forward to the day when I will take part in the London Marathon and fit properly into my dream dress size (with no acrobatics!) and also to when my Lord and Saviour will say "Well done, good and faithful servant".

Remain blessed

Me

Prayer for the week

Hmm.. a new week. Lord, I thank you and I bless your name to be counted as one of the privileged to see this week. There are some people that started last week and are not here to see this week and for this I am grateful.

This week I have so many things I want to achieve and the 'to-do' list looks pretty overwhelming but I am asking for your wisdom to know what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Help me operate at my highest gift and enable me to to do my work diligently and efficiently.

Also, enable me to walk in the fruits of the Holy Spirit (especially patience..u know some people are trying me seriously!!!Lol!). Let your joy fill my heart, let your peace guard my heart. Help me to be kind even when it is difficult. Most importantly, help me to love the way You do with total abandon, without conditions.

Lord, increase my faith to believe you for the impossible, for your Word promises that every word you have spoken concerning me cannot return to you void but it must first accomplish it's purpose in me. Let my words encourage and edify and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight.

I know there are testimonies hiding behind the challenges of this week so I'm ready to make a start....

I pray this for myself and for any others who might need it.

Thank you for answered prayers.

Me.

Psalm 9:10 (NIV) Those who know your name will trust in you; for you Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.

What a day!!

What a day yesterday was! Got to the lab really excited (at least for a Monday!) about starting a new experiment just to find out that I had forgotten to sterilise some stuff..me thinks this is not a good way to start as I have to delay starting for about 2 hours.

Anyways I started and it just went downhill from there the crowning moment involving spilling some Salmonella (don't worry I was working in a contained environment). I just felt like going home to sleep. Usually I'm quite organised and capable but yesterday was so not one of those days. After lunch I just decided to relax. So the day wasn't going the way I wanted, so there were some mistakes, so I have to repeat the experiment..it's not like these are not serious issues but no use worrying about the past I cannot change.

When I woke up today, I decided to leave the craziness in yesterday because all I have is today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I'll work my darnest best today to make sure it is beautiful.

I learnt not to cling to the past, who we are is a sum of all the experiences we have been through both good and bad. This morning I talked to God and received the strength, grace and joy that I needed for today.

It hasn't been so bad, most of the results from yesterday are wack but I've got some moments I wished I had captured on film!

Welcome to a new month. May is the fifth month of the year. Symbolically, 5 in the bible represents grace (one of the greatest gifts that God has endowed my life with). So, may you experience the grace of God in all areas of your life. I pray that you walk in favour as the Heavens open over you and shower you with multiple blessings.

Remain blessed

Me